we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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