i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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