I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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