Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
