Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
