HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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