We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Alive.
So much puke
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
