How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
