i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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