Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
