giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
