plz talk dirty to me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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