I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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