Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
