I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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