Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
