Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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