If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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