Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
