Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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