I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
