D3 body, D1 cock
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
