East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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