Grow some girl-balls and come out already
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
