my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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