i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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