GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
