I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
