I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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