the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
