between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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