this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
