I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
