Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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