I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
