Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
