Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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