Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
