Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
