I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
