we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
