he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize