You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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