Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
