You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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