i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
