id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
