I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
