Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
