none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
