threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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