Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize