I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
