one might say we're banned from that church
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
