wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
