I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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