I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
