we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
