rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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