we have officially lost it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize