do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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